My Life: Let Me Paint A Picture
It’s a FriYAY, as I call it, and we are in Lent season. Let me paint a picture of my life to you today as it dawned on me that every action I create a solution for my family.
On Wednesday of this week my military husband decided at last minute to have shoulder surgery. Oh Lord! Is all I thought. I have to drive to Houston and drive rite back to tend and care for him and my small family. I haven’t found my new nanny here and we are approaching a year come June 1. Boy, do I miss home. I rush home Tuesday night super late and arise at the crack of dawn to bring Little Lonnie and rush to Waco, Texas for me to assist the hubby for shoulder surgery. My husband actually thought he would return to work the very next day and oh is he so wrong. We are of course are late for surgery Wednesday and I am so tired for lack of sleep. Aggravated, stressed, busy as all FUCK, I walk in with a smile on my face trying to be completely present for hub. Surgery is over and I speak to the doctor and he shares that Lonnie’s shoulder is a lot worse than he expected and this is a temporary fix and that he will need to recover within 3 months but no PT. Good Lord is all I could think of and how the heck would Lonnie take this as my husband is known to not stop and take care of his physical needs.
I flew my mother in law in to help with kids and me with her son. Back to Friday…. I haven’t been able to blog as I now have to be a nurse on my part time that I have none of and my mother in law will not stop talking. I feel like I am the free therapist just listening. I honestly cannot get a word in…. even when I am on a phone call she continues the small chatter. I feel like I am in treatment all over again. Friday’s at my home during Lent we respect the sacrament of not eating meat on Friday’s. Lonnie let me sleep Friday and I awoke to my mother in law saying….. “Jillian…Jillian…..!???” I am on the toilet and its 10:00am what the fuck could she possibly be needing to tell me. “I am so sorry…. Blah Blah” ok, I will stop there and explain something to the readers. I stopped talking to mother in law four years ago as she would create drama with my husband ex wife and it would cause all kinda crazy ass drama in our home. So, counselor stated I needed to set boundaries. I set a boundary that as long as she was relaying information about our family we would not communicate. Her mother died this year and I decided Little Lonnie needed his grandma as my momma would not be the only grandparents in baby boys life. So, grandma Jodi is now in Lonnie’s life and its been an interesting and talkative five days. I got off the toilet and was like is this really happening? Yes it was. I literally was hugged while I was on the shitter.
How does it get any better than this? What else is possible? All of life comes to me with EASE, JOY, and GLORY!!!!! Good thing she got out what she needed to say and Lonnie bought shrimp. I didn’t have to drive an hour earlier to go to grocery. Big Lonnie all jacked up on pain killers tells his mom that she should go to the local Hardware store and create a garden. Did he really say that? Yep, and he really expected his momma to go by herself and create a garden. I am like this man is insane. Mrs. Jodi, I say. “Yes, Jillian?” I reply with, “I am going to go with you as you cannot go by yourself.” She kindly accept my offer and off for an hour half to get all the ingredients to my future garden of selfcare. We arrive back and begin on our adventure to my beautiful garden of vegetables and herbs. We stop and head to Austin to get Little Lonnie and to Home Depot for more herbs and soil. Little Lonnie reminded me repeatedly that he wanted Cane’s because I had my debit card and his grandma was poor and had no money. The entire time we are getting the remaining supplies for my garden he says, “momma right after this you are going to get me Cane’s right?” I thought isn’t it Friday? Well Little Lonnie knew he hasn’t made the sacrament of communion and knows the rule of not eating doesn’t apply to him. After we finished at Home Depot we rushed to Cane’s to get him the tenders he hasn’t gotten in a month. We live in the hills and the only fast food joint we have is Sonic. I love the concept that it takes entirely way too long to get fast food. My health and family is a lot better here versus to the luck I had at home. On the thirty minute drive home the husband called to remind me about Matthew. Oh Shit! I forgot about him. No, he had track! Praise baby Jesus.
I take a deep breath and exale. We get home and begin unloading the remaining garden and finish up. I cannot express how awesome a garden is for your health. Its very therapeutic and you can get loss in your mediation talking to your plants. Mrs. Jodi reminds me we have to get dinner started. I take charge and get my fried shrimp and homemade fries ready. If we were back at home we would be waiting hours just to eat some boiled crawfish. The picture my neighbor took of me explains everything. I receive a call from my friend at home. She asked what I was doing and I said, “well, you know, frying some shrimp and trying to hurry to head back out before dark to finish the plants.” She laughs and says, “How in the heck are you focusing with all that noise?” I giggle and reminded myself it’s just a Friday and two of the kids are not even here. The sacrafice we create as a wife and mom. If anyone tells you the military wife has it easy, they are lying. I not only had to do my job but, had to take on the role as a nurse, therapist, and print out forms and call doctors for my husband. Yes, I totally forgot about the middle child today and I sure forget that we need to not have it together as an adult. I talked to a girl I met in New York today and she just had a baby from her new husband. Her new husband is ready to deploy to Poland and she is going to be by herself with a new baby. I would die y’all! All I wanted in my last marriage was a family and having my husband home and being a family! I wanted the Joan Clever life I once yearned for so long and now I have it. I feel like a nut job. Oh, I am as my near thirteen year old who is about to turn 14.
