The Very Steps We Take
A bonanza at the beginning is no guarantee of blessing at the end. Don’t ever say, “Ill get you for that!” Wait for God; he’ll settle the score. God hates cheating in the marketplace; rigged scales are an outrage. The very steps we take come from God; otherwise how would we know where we’re going? An impulsive vow is a trap; later you’ll wish you could get out of it. After careful scrutiny, a wise leader makes a clean sweep of rebels and dolts. God is in charge of human life, watching and examining us inside and out. Love and truth form a good leader; sound leadership is founded on loving integrity. Youth may be admired for vigor, but gray hair gives prestige to old age. A good thrashing purges evil; punishment goes deep within us.
As a little girl my sister and I saw angels growing up. The first talk of angels was at our home in Opelousas, Louisiana. We shared a room together and I on the bottom she on top; she would constantly talk about our angels. I never saw them until the day my day almost died of his heart attack. After he recovered months later, we were probably visitng my grandparents as they lived down the street from us and we had the luxury to step in and love on them. There is something I realized that I feared but, in all honestly should have been nothing to be scared of…..She had a long hallway and in the hallway several areas had rooms. The extra living room was always dark and one day I was scared straight. I ran into my Mimi’s home excited to hear about her trip to Europe with grandfather.(that’s what we called our grandma).
She of course was in the sewing room and as I was running down there it was the flame in the living room. I remember screaming and my dad getting really upset with me. “Why are you screaming Gigi?” I quickly responded with, “there was a flame floating around in that room.”
He looked puzzled and shook off my fear and geared me to the sewing room. Young and unaware I forgot but I really didn’t. Till than or until she moved to Lafayette I always remember wondering if that was the devil. Fast forward to my 30’s. in my book the last chapter talks about my spiritual abuse. Before meeting this charlatan my good friend Anne began to explain my gifts. Yes, I have gifts and so do you. My gifts were being able to hear Jesus, Mary, and God speak to me. Jesus is very gentle when he speaks to me in adoration. Mary is very comforting in her words. God is very loud and direct. For so long I had thought I was a little crazy, but, I had a gift kings and queens desired to have. One day we were in adoration in Lafayette at the church next to the elementary/middle school I attendee. The church St. John’s Cathedral is the mother church of the Diocese of Lafayette.
In 1821, Jean Mouton donated the property to the diocese. This church is beautiful and next to it is the oldest standing oak tree in the world. My father would wait for Jeannine and I under when school would let out. So, now you know how special it is to me. Back to the story, one day Anne and I met to pray for an hour in front of the holy sacrament. There it was the flame I onced saw that scared me. No way the devil could be present in this holy place. After we prayed I asked Anne if she saw what I saw she said no Jillian but, what you saw was a reminder of God’s burning love for us. For so long I thought the evil spirit was in that house but it was my gift of God’s burning love for me. How lucky I am to have such devout parents and grandparents who loved their religion. I honestly can say that for the first time in a long time I was gifted back my gift. Friday of March 9, 2019, I dedicated an hour to adoration at my new church here in Lago Vista.
I love adoration because it’s quiet and it’s time I can spend with Jesus. I always begin with praise and thanking him for everything he has provided me with….. after praise, I take my book of scripture and read three pages and end with the rosary. After this ritual, I stare at the host and talk with all of the Holy Family. I was asking some interesting questions the other day.
My eyes became weak and the bell began to ring to let me know I had reached my hour. There it was the sacred heart of Jesus. He was back and yearning for my love. I cried in rejoice because for almost a year since the incident occurred I had a lot of righteous anger with my church. I realized at that moment, no one not man can take away my gift and love for the Lord. That moment I realized how much he loves me. That moment I knew that my team of women and men who have been helping me move forward and attain my dreams are the right fit. Sometimes we have to tread a lot of water to reach the foot of Christ. Suffering is part of the the human being and its hard at times to understand the strange mystery of the Lord. Jesus Christ just wants the same love for us as he has for us. We wound his heart when we choose humanly things because that is what we do as humans. All of us suffer but we must be reminded we are never alone and that they mystery of the love he has for us is real. In Proverbs 18:10; God’s name is a place of protection- good people can run there and be safe.
I put aside my pride and was vulnerable to trust Him again and He is real and I am a firm believer that without God we are just humans, walking this earth with no spiritual roadmap. If we quit listening to the mystical part of our own hearts we are lacking the love that is available in this three dimensional world.
With love in Christ,
Jillian
